


I´ll be appreciated

by MichelleKI



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Deceit Sanders Angst, M/M, Mention of Remus, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, mention of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-11-02 07:49:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20673686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MichelleKI/pseuds/MichelleKI
Summary: Deceit would do anything to be appreciated by Thomas.





	I´ll be appreciated

Deceit had always hidden in the shadows of the mind space. He knew he wasn´t welcomed into the light sides´ space, so he would never try to pass to that side. He had to keep living in the shadows with the other dark sides. Sometimes he was glad he had some people to interact with, and other he hopes he didn´t had to live with them.

Most of the time, Remus would try to sneak on him and prank him. It would be alright if the definition of prank for Remus was not making him black out and tape him up to the ceiling.

Or when Depression would leave his belongings all over the place and make the whole living room a mess.

Sure, he was not as active as when Thomas was a teenager, but he still was there to some extent. As a little trophy Thomas’ mind would keep just to remind the sides to when he had the power to make Thomas feel useless and depressed.

However, he still had his _touch_, which meant he had the power to make others have depressive episodes. They would last no more than 30 minutes, but they were horrific. Deceit had already experienced some of them, whenever Depression got mad, he would take it against him.

_If only Virgil was here, this would not be as unbearable._

Various times, Deceit would think about going to Virgil and beg to him to come back. He would bring some peace to the dark side of the mind. Even though he is the literal opposite of peace.

It was clearly obvious how ridiculously he would be rejected if he did that. The light sides did not want any dark side in their side of the mind and neither they would pass to the dark side. It just seems to be his destiny to pass the rest of Thomas´ life next to those dorks.

Deceit walked to his room, after getting all the darts out of his legs and torso. Sure, Remus passed the line this time, but there was nothing Deceit could do to make that moron stop at all.

He sat on his bed, next to his friend, Alice, a white lipped python. He took her into his shoulders and caressed her head. Deceit loved petting his beloved snake, it made him feel like he had someone who really liked him. Even if Alice was not a real person, her love was enough for Deceit.

“One day Alice, we will _not_ live peacefully, and _not _be accepted by Thomas”

Alice continued to curl into Deceit´s chest and torso. A warm hug Deceit loved to experience.

However, he couldn´t resist to imagine what a hug from another side or Thomas would feel like. Imagining being able to hang out with the light sides was something he fantasized about; watching Disney movies with Roman, eating Patton´s cookies, watching documentaries with Logan or even just spending time with Virgil. A wild dream he was embarrassed about.

The light sides hated him. Why wouldn´t they? He was the main Dark side, And Thomas… He was another topic. Deceit really wanted to protect Thomas, but his ways weren´t the same as the others. Sure, Virgil´s ways weren´t neither similar but they were accepted, and all because Thomas told the other sides to be nice to him.

_Thomas, that´s it._

Deceit continued to think, his train of thought going faster every second. The sides all obey to Thomas, if he says something, they all do it. He just needed to make Thomas trust him, it would take some time, but it could work.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day Deceit started planning on ways to make Thomas trust him. He started with a list.

  * Summoning a cute dog for him
  * Cooking him dinner
  * Watching a movie with him
  * Maybe telling him cheesy things like; _you´re special to me, you´re amazing._

Yeah, he could make this work. Maybe at the end of the day, everyone would realize he really was looking out for Thomas the whole time.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Deceit sneaked into the kitchen early on the morning. Moving pans, taking things out of the fridge and turning the oven on.

_I´ll be appreciated._

He tried to make as less noise as possible, he wouldn´t want to wake Thomas up. He took a simple cinnamon and vanilla cookie recipe from a book and started getting it done. Yeah, he would be appreciated.

The cooking took about an hour to be done, and at the end, he was very proud of what he did. They did look good. He took a glance at the clock; 8 am. The sides and Thomas should wake up by this hour.

_I should look more presentable._

Deceit took his bowler hat, gloves and cape off, to stay with only his shirt on, maybe he looked more friendly without them._ 8:15 am. _He started hearing some steps coming from the stairs and quickly put everything in order.

Nice looking? Check

Cookies on a plate? Check

Glass of milk? Check

Suddenly he saw Thomas coming down, still wearing pajamas and hair as messy as a bird´s nest. As soon as he turned around to face the kitchen, his eyes went wide open as he saw Deceit standing there.

“Deceit! What are you doing here?!”, his voice came out low and rough.

Soon after, Virgil and Roman raised up, both with killing gazes towards Deceit. Ok, this was going to be hard.

“_Awful_ morning, Thomas. I just _didn´t_ want to make something special for you.” He said pushing forward the plate full of cookies he baked.

“COOKIES?” Patton blurted out as soon as he raised up.

“DON´T YOU DARE TOUCH THOSE HIGH GLUCOSE AND CARB MASSES”

Now all eyes were on Logan.

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and it should not be downgraded to a food with no nutritious value and, in addition, full of trans fatty acids, you know those are not good for your body, Thomas, you should eat a …..”

“Oh my God! Can you not say anything without sounding like a boring middle school teacher?” Roman interrupted.

“Well at least I´m not contributing to Thomas having an inconvenient diet. If you a hint of common sense you would realize that….”

“Guys, please, it´s 8 am, too early for fights” Thomas said to calm his sides down. How can they be fighting this early?

Deceit did nothing more than wait for everyone to calm down and maybe taste his baking. It might be hard to convince them to try them since none of them trusted him, but it would be all worth it.

_No more pranks from Remus or depressive episodes caused by that asshole._

“Well, Thomas, if you´re not going to try those cookies, then I´ll do it for you!” Patton sang as he reached for cookie from the plate Deceit put in the table.

“DON´T!” Virgil shouted a smacked Patton´s hand out of the way, “Who knows if he did not put poison into those, maybe his up to something”. His gaze never leaving Deceit´s face, as he did not want to lose track of his movements.

“Oh Virgil, I would _absolutely_ play all of you like that! I might be the villain of the story, but I would _totally _do that”, he said hoping everyone would at least give him an opportunity. He sighed as soon as he saw no one moved a single centimeter, as if they were actually considering trusting him, “Ok, look, I _do not promise _you that these are edible. They _do _have poison in them”.

Thomas looked among his sides, and after a few seconds, decided to say something.

“Well, is not like you can kill me, right?” he said with hope and a little doubt in his words.

Nobody said anything, not even when Thomas reached to grab a cookie from the plate. Virgil seemed very anxious, like he really expected something to happen.

“What did you put in this? It tastes a little funny, actually” Thomas asked with a weird expression on his face.

“I _totally did not use _the basics of a cookie and added some cinnamon”.

“Cinnamon?” Logan asked curious.

Deceit nodded and pointed to a little bottle on the counter.

“I do not recall Thomas buying cinnamon from the store”, he mentioned and walked towards the counter.

As soon as he saw the bottle and read the label, his eyes went wide.

_Cumin._

“Oh dear…” Deceit whispered. He messed up big this time.

“That´s the bottle of cumin I used for Roman´s spaghetti last Christmas” Patton said with a disgusted expression on his face.

Next Deceit saw was Thomas almost throwing up in the middle of the living room, then running towards the sink, where he finally threw out the cookie he just ate.

Deceit could not resist a little laugh escaping his lips.

“See? I told you he was up to something! He was trying to make you sick!”

_Wait, what?_

“Oh _yes_! That was _exactly_ what I wanted to happen!” Deceit blurted out interrupting his laugh. Exasperation in his eyes.

“Oh, you shut up, snakey reptile! You tried making Thomas feel unease!” Roman shouted, standing in front of Deceit, liberating his sword from his belt and using it to make distance between him and the other sides and Thomas, “I will not stand you putting my king on terrible situations!”

Deceit was panicking. He truly messed everything up.

“Those cookies seem to contain a larger portion of cumin of the necessary for the recommended consumption, Deceit,” Logan added, his words falling out of his mouth faster than normal, “Do you even know the odds of consuming larger portions of cumin? Heartburn, alteration on the digestive system, kidney and liver damage”

“If you dare to be near Thomas ever again, I´ll tear your limbs off!” It was Virgil´s turn to add up.

He could not hear Patton adding up to the line of scolding he was receiving, however in the corner of his eye he could see Patton looking at him with a disappointed and mad look. He did not approach him; however, everyone knew that receiving that gaze form Patton was like getting a stab on the chest.

Deceit was truly about to cry. Patton´s gaze made him feel like a bad person and Roman, Logan and Virgil´s words were only adding to Deceit´s thoughts.

_Can´t you even read the label? Maybe if you had, they would not hate you as much as they do now._

A minute full of scolding passes before Deceit finally decides to sink down to his room.

_Useless._

_\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

That night, when Deceit tried to sleep, Alice slithered around him. His snake could feel when Deceit was feeling low and most of the times, she would help him throughout those times. This was one of those.

“Oh Alice, what would I do without you?” He said caressing Alice´s head. The snake slither closer to his chest.

“I did _not_ do a mess today” he whispered as his snake moved around him, making him feel a little love.

He sighed, “Maybe if I had read the label, it would had _not _ended different”.

A moment passed as he let his thought fill his head.

“I messed up, I _did_ hurt Thomas, but they were all mad at me. I guess it’s because they _do not _care and listen to Thomas. I mean if he fears me, they _would not _try to keep me at bay….” He stopped ranting as soon as he realized something.

_They all hear to Thomas._

If Thomas tells them to be nice to him, they would totally do, right? Sure, he already tried winning Thomas over, and it did not work, but what about a little white lie?

Before he fell asleep, he already had a plan for the next morning.

_I´ll be appreciated._

_\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Thomas had headed to the mall with Joan and Talyn to take a coffee and chat with each other. Meanwhile, all the sides were chilling in the Mind Palace. The light sides were chilling in the living room, either reading, bickering and chatting amongst them.

One thing they all knew is that if Thomas changed locations, they did too. Another one was that it was unusual for Thomas to enter the Mind Palace. Deceit needed to make the sides think they were in the real Thomas´ living room with the real Thomas.

_I can do this, I´ve done it before_.

He inhaled deep and went for it.

Deceit coordinated his powers to move the other sides to lift them up a few centimeters and changing the appearance of place to Thomas´ living room to make the illusion that they raised up.

At the very same time, he changed his appearance to look like Thomas and be in the same place as Thomas would normally be.

It all happened in the same second.

“Thomas? We thought you were in the middle of an outing with your friends,” Logan said looking directly to Deceit.

Time to start, he practiced this before in his room, he is the master of deception, he could do this.

“Oh, uh, yes. They just left a minute ago,” he said, with a hint of uneasiness in his voice.

“Did something go wrong?” Virgil said, raising an eyebrow, “You look uneasy, but I don´t feel anxious”.

“Oh no, I´m alright, I was just thinking about something”.

“You can tell us, kiddo! Remember we must work through our issues” Patton exclaimed with peace and love spreading at his words.

“It´s ok, I just, was talking to Joan about a friend they have. They mentioned something about the boy being sad because he wasn´t accepted in a group of people”.

Patton made a disgusted sound, “That´s ugly to hear, kiddo,” Patton exclaimed with a sad expression on his face.

"He said that the guy also even tried bringing the other gifts, and trying to fit in, but he was always rejected,” He sighed to making it appear more sincere, “It just hit me, like, the guy must feel bad”.

“I can tell,” Virgil said, “It feels like shit”.

“Language!” Patton exclaimed.

“Sorry, Pat”

“I know, I know, “Deceit mumbled,” I don’t know why, but when Joan was telling me that, I just… I thought about that incident with Deceit yesterday”.

Roman let out a laugh, no one else said anything. When he saw he was the only one laughing he stopped.

“Wait, so you really think Dr. Curt Connors was trying to fit in?” Roman inquired followed by a smirk.

_Auch._

“Well, I mean, he was just trying to do something nice for me. Isn´t that what all you guys want is for me to be safe? “ Deceit asked.

“Correct me if I´m wrong, but he almost poisoned you!” Virgil exclaimed.

“Actually, we do not know what his intentions were, but we do know that if you didn´t stopped eating them, you would had gone to the doctor, or in the worst cases, gotten a gastric lavage” Logan´s monotone voice scared him a little bit. His blank eyes and poker face always intrigued him.

He took a breath in before saying anything.

“Guys, I know he is a Dark Side and that my self-preservation is not something I should use that often, but…” _If this don´t go as planned, _“ but he is a part of me, and maybe he is just looking for a little validation from me”.

_Don´t you dare get sentimental, you pussy._

Patton was the first to raise his voice, a little hesitant by the way.

“I mean, yeah, kiddo. We all love you! As your sides we all care for you, but…” Deceit´s hear stopped beating for a second. _But. _“ He is Deceit, he does not look out for you the right way. He might think he does the best for, but he only hurts you.”

Was that a sound of crack? Oh yes. Deceit´s heart breaking.

Deceit´s throat tickled while speaking, “Maybe he sees things different than us.”

“Yeah, a little in the opposite way” Virgil added, his eyes showing confusion.

“You know I do not like sharing with Virgil, but I share the thought.” Roman reassured.

_Was he about to cry? Such a loser_

Goddamn no, fuck it.

“Look guys, I´m going to be real with you.” He took a breath, if they were all going to talk about him like that, he would at least defend himself, “Every single one of you have a purpose, and I can not generalize, but I think it´s fair to say, that you all want me to have a good life,” He took a breath before continuing to talk, “One were I´m full of knowledge, a happy person, a good person, away from danger, or…. safe from society.”

It felt as if something clicked on Deceit´s head. Maybe he wasn´t that bad, maybe he did have a function in benefit for Thomas. Maybe he not only hurt him.

A silence invaded the room. They all looked at him, attention full on Deceit.

“Well,” Logan was the first to break the silence, “it might be possible that Deceit could work with us,” he stopped as soon as he felt Virgil´s eyes on him, as if he waited for him to jump and interrupt him, “ok… look, Deceit could benefit Thomas in some specific cases,” he declared, fully prepared to bring some points into the discussion.

“And haven´t you think that those cases might be so specific he might actually not be needed?” Virgil exclaimed, rage displaying on his eyes. Deceit could feel that sentence sting on his chest. Maybe a dagger would hurt less.

“They might be specific, but still sometimes needed. Imagine Thomas has a friend who just came out to him, specifically asking Thomas to not tell anyone because they are not ready,” you could see Logan´s focus, and Deceit couldn´t be more thankful as to where Logan was trying to get. “The only act of not telling anyone is a lie of omission as we already know, therefore Deceit actions would not be considered that evil, would they, Patton?”

Patton eyes looked puzzled, like he didn´t know what to say, “Well, in that case, we would do it for a friend, they would feel harmed if we outed them,”

Patton´s body showed his mind rushing thoughts, as if he was pondering about the case. He could see Patton’s troubled face, trying to come to a conclusion. As if he just realized something

Everyone else looked at him, as if they were waiting for him to give his verdict. His hands on this mouth and frown on his face. Deceit could only wish he was possibly rethinking about Deceit.

Seconds later, Patton exhaled and became serious for a moment.

“Guys, I think we owe Deceit an apology,“ he said with a guilty expression on his face, everyone looking at him.

Virgil eyes went wide, Logan remained with a blank face and Roman gave a face of confusion. Deceit… his heart stopped beating and became full of hope.

“Yesterday, I think he was just trying to do something nice for you, Thomas. He made a mistake, like everyone else could, but we immediately took it as an evil thing. We jumped to a conclusion without even listening to him.”

Deceit could clearly see guilt showing in the dad persona eyes. And it felt like they were accepting him.

On the other side, Virgil showed the opposite. Confusion expressed his face, like he did not believe what was happening.

“Guys, he is Deceit, his only goal is to lie and keeping Thomas from being honest to himself. He will hurt Thomas!” Virgil showed desperation, Deceit, hopelessness.

“Virge, they´re right,” Roman interrupted, “Remember none of us have one purpose, he might be a Dark Side, but that does not define all that he is. Remember how we all accepted you, it took us time to do so, but… at the end, we are what we want to be”.

Deceit could feel something in his stomach, like knots being formed inside of him. A smile on his lips. Hope, happiness, gratitude.

Eyes were all back on Virgil, waiting for an answer. His face was blank for a moment, then he rolled his eyes.

“Ok, if that´s what you all want, I can make an effort,” He crossed his arms, hands on his sides.

_Have I done it?_

“So, you guys will try to accept him?” Deceit asked intrigued.

“Indeed, I think we can all agree that, if he cooperates, then maybe we can guide you to a better lifestyle, one in which we all know how to deal with every situation you come across.” Logan´s words did make him feel more ease.

He couldn´t resist and gave a big smile, “Thank you, guys”.

“No, thank you, kiddo. I really have to stop having high expectations about the rights and wrongs,” he sighed, “Good night, Thomas”. A big smile was given to him as Patton sank down.

“Sweet night, Thomas!”

“Good night, Roman”, he said as Roman sank down.

“Rest well, Thomas, you have to wake up early tomorrow, please stay away from the TV”.

“I will,” he said with a fond smile.

Deceit noticed Virgil still there, looking at him. It made him a little nervous if you asked him.

“Is everything alright, Virge?” Voice a little shaky.

“Was that really necessary?” His arms were still crossed, and his face seemed bothered.

“What are you talking about?” _Oh shit._

“Since when do you need approval?” His expression turning less friendly.

“W-what do you mean?”

“C´mon, Deceit, how stupid do you think I am?”

Deceit´s face turned white, eyes wide; astonished.

“H-how did you know?”

“I don´t rise up, remember?”

_You stupid snake._

He felt fear and his face surely showed it, “P-please don´t…”

“I won´t say anything, just…” Virgil said, blank expression on his face, “just don´t hurt Thomas and I´ll keep quiet”.

Deceit quickly nodded.

“Alright then”, he said as he sank down.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Deceit retuned to his room, later that day. He really hoped the light sides would give him an opportunity. Maybe one day he could even hang out with them.

“Oh Alice, today went _bad_.”

He caressed his snake head as it climbed through his chest all the way to his head.

“Who knows, little reptile? Maybe one day, they _won´t _even accept you too”.

Deceit knew tomorrow would be better. Now, it could only go better than before.

**Author's Note:**

> So.. this ended up way longer than I expected. I would had continued but, I could go on and end up with what would be a multiple chapters work so... maybe in a future.  
This was based on a tumblr post from @timegirl, so credits to her.


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